For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you…(2 Timothy 1:6 NIV)

I am continuing to work on week 4 of my Bible study, A Woman’s Heart, God’s Dwelling Place. The last couple of weeks have been heavy on the Ouch! factor.

If you have followed my blog for any length of time, you will have noticed an ongoing theme. One that concerns my seeming inability to jump off a cliff into the waters of obedience where God’s blessings flow like the purest mountain stream. I posted previously about doing something just because Jesus said so and about being slow to obey. Those posts were in February. I haven’t gained much ground since then I don’t think.

I feel stymied. I can’t explain it. I don’t know if it’s fear. I don’t know what it is. Lack of confidence? Maybe.

If I believe God’s Word to be true, and I do, then why the difficulty relying on Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength?” Arghhhh! Sometimes I get so angry with myself!

Last week in my study I read about Bezalel. I admit I had never heard of him before. In case you haven’t either, I will elaborate a bit. Bezalel’s story can be found in Exodus 31:1-11. God told Moses that He had filled Bezalel with “the Spirit of God, with skill, ability and knowledge in all kinds of crafts-to make artistic designs for work in gold, silver and bronze, to cut and set stones, to work in wood, and to engage in all kinds of craftsmanship.” (vv. 3-5) This was so Bezalel, along with another character mentioned in vv. 1-11, Oholiab, could furnish God’s dwelling place.

Bezalel didn’t have the skills or knowledge to do these things until the Spirit of God came upon Him. But God called him to the job, and then He equipped him for it.

How many times have you heard the phrase, “God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called?” Do I believe that? Really? If I do, then what’s the problem? If I don’t, then…well, we have bigger issues!

The truth is, I do believe it. I see God equip people to fulfill their life’s calling all the time. And I see the power of God at work in their lives. I know it had to have come from God. Heck, I experienced that myself just this past Friday. That wasn’t me. I know that. It was totally God! No question. I give Him all the credit.

Beth Moore says this about Bezalel. “His job was out of his league. God purposely assigned Bezalel a task beyond his capability so that He could fill him with His power.”

Concerning fulfilling our own purposes, Beth says this:

“Anything of priority in the Kingdom is out of our league. God places us in positions beyond our capabilities so that we will be at His absolute mercy, realizing that only He can succeed. God searches for laborers who will simply let Him do His job through them as His vessels. When you work for God, with your assignment comes the guarantee that you will be equipped for the job.” (Pg. 64)

Ummm…yeah, what she said.

Then of course this week, Day 1 talks about how “one of our greatest battles is within ourselves, warring with our minds.” (Pg. 76)

And then back to the whole obedience thing.

“Our obedience does not make God bigger or better than He already is. His essence is unchanged by our obedience or lack of it. Anything God commands of us is so that our joy may be full–the joy of seeing His glory revealed to us and in us.” (Pg. 79)

Which brings me to our scripture reference at the top of the page. Second Timothy 1:6: “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you…”

Stay tuned for Part 2 tomorrow.

All quotes with page number references are from A Woman’s Heart, God’s Dwelling Place by Beth Moore.

Yesterday at church, we had the recognition of the high school graduates. I watched as 30-some 17 and 18 year old’s walked across the stage as their name was called, received a NIV study Bible, and the youth pastor shared cute anecdotes about each one. Included in this was their thoughts on what they would be doing ten years from now.

Later, as he addressed them collectively, he talked about how faith would play out for each of them. For some, it would become very real. Some, they would stumble a bit, and still other’s… well, they were probably going to walk away from their faith altogether. Do you think any of them had written that down when they were asked about what they would be doing in ten years?

I thought about this a lot. I have heard it said that this happens frequently when our children go off to college because while we have told them what they should believe, we haven’t told them WHY they should believe it. We haven’t helped them establish WHY it is truth.

With those thoughts in mind, I came home yesterday and was browsing some of my favorite blogs. I cruised over to Lysa TerKeurst who had posted about this very thing on Saturday. She had a guest poster by the name of Frank Turek. He co-authored the book, I Don’t Have Enough Faith to Be an Atheist. He is the president of Crossexamined.org. His organization travels to college campuses giving seminars on the truth of Christianity.

The post on Lysa’s blog included a number of video links, most of which I have viewed. To say that this topic struck a chord with me yesterday is an understatement.

I live in a home with one individual who doesn’t buy into the “whole faith thing.” The other one is telling me that sometimes they think “they believe in God and Jesus,” and other times they think “the stories in the Bible are just like any other stories we read.” Discouraging? You bet.

I know that I believe in God and Jesus because I know that I am a sinner saved by grace. I have experienced the power of God working in my life. I have been rescued from the pit more times than I can count, and I know that I know that I know.

I am surrounded by a family of intellectuals who don’t know Jesus as Lord and Savior of their lives. I don’t know how to talk to them because they don’t share my “faith.” They want concrete evidence, and the truth is, I don’t have the words to give it to them. I can share my experiences, and while on the one hand, experience is difficult to refute, on the other hand, it’s also difficult to validate. It’s just that…my experience.

I need to know more about what Frank has to say. I hope that God can use him to help me, and if you are in a situation similar to mine, I hope that God will use him to help you, too. Check them out. Crossexamined.org.

I am in awe of God today. I am so overwhelmed, I don’t quite know where to begin. I may ramble a bit, so bear with me here.

Where to start…I am attending She Speaks, a conference hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries, in a couple of weeks. It is a training conference for women who feel led to public speaking and writing in women’s ministry. I attended in 2005. You can read more about that experience and the time in between here. Proverbs 31 Ministries has added a leadership training track as well as a track called the Next Generation for girls 12-17 who want to step out and lead amongst their peers since I attended in ’05. This year, they have added an Image Ministry track with Shari Braendel, and that is the track on which I will be attending.

I believe God may have narrowed my focus some since I originally felt the call to go to the conference. That is all explained in the post I linked to earlier. So…on to what He has been up to in the last few months.

I have been facilitating a Bible study in my neighborhood for about a year now. Two of the ladies who participate co-lead their daughters Junior Girl Scout troop. One of the badges the girls have to earn is called “Feeling Your Best.” Angie, one of the leaders, asked me if I would come and give a talk to the girls about what colors look good on them, how to dress modestly, etc. I said I would be glad to participate. This was originally supposed to happen in March, but I didn’t hear anything about it again until April at which time we scheduled it for yesterday, June 6.

Now, I must admit, I wasn’t really expecting this to be a big deal. When I say that, I do not mean it to sound like because they were young girls or because it was for a Junior troop, I didn’t feel it was important. Not at all! Anytime one has the opportunity to influence young people of any age, I believe it should be taken seriously. It was more that I thought I would just go and play with some color with them for a bit, we would talk a little bit about clothes and fashion, and that would be it. You know, some girly fun. But, oh no! God had other ideas.

I confess I had not done a lot of preparation for this because, again, I really thought we were just going to have some fun. While we did have fun, it was so much more than that.

As I sat down yesterday and began to prepare, God showed me almost immediately that it was going to be so much more than I had thought or could have even begun to imagine.

I grabbed my notebook that I scribble everything in and began to jot down a basic outline. However, as I sat there, God just flooded me with…I don’t even know how to describe it. As He kept adding things to what I realized was HIS outline and not mine, I quickly realized that I was going to have to go upstairs and type this up on the computer because I was making a lot of changes and additions. I wouldn’t have been able to read my own notes otherwise!

Ya’ll, I spent hours on this thing! I’m not complaining, mind you. I was just stunned at what God was giving me. I still am. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was ALL HIM! I am awed. I am humbled. I am overwhelmed.

What I originally thought was just going to be some girly fun turned out to be so much more. As I began to realize this was going to be a “real talk,” I started to get nervous. My stomach got queasy, and suddenly, I didn’t want to do this anymore. But God assured me that He was with me, that He had ordained it and anointed it.

I prayed all afternoon. I prayed all the way there. The calm reassurance continued to come. “I am with you. Never will I leave you. I am in control.”

By the time I arrived, I actually felt well enough to be able to eat a piece of pizza with the girls before it was time for me to do my presentation.

I should probably mention that I had called Angie earlier in the week to make sure we were on the same page about her expectations for the talk. I asked if it was okay for me to use scripture. After all, it wasn’t a religious function per se. She said it was absolutely fine, that they prayed together before meals and meetings. I discussed a couple of verses I might use, and she was fine with that. I also asked her during that same conversation how much time I had. She said they had allotted an hour, but I could do any amount of time I wanted from 15 minutes up to one hour.

After what God had given me yesterday, I knew I was going to be at least 30 minutes. It went for an hour! The girls made comments. They asked questions. They made suggestions concerning the aspects of modesty we were discussing. I have tears in my eyes just writing about it so overwhelmed am I still. God is so good!

There were four mom’s there. They all loved it. Angie said it was absolutely perfect for the girls, and that I was very good at it. I don’t mention that to “toot my own horn,” only to say again, “Go God!” It was ALL Him, and I give Him all the credit and glory.

I am still shaking my head in disbelief. It was amazing.

I have long felt called to work with young girls, but more in the late middle to high school-aged range. And I still think that God has work for me there. Actually, I know that He does. But, maybe there’s more to it than I originally thought. What I saw last night. What I experienced. It was incredible. God reiterated something for me last night that I knew but hadn’t dwelled on a whole lot. Those girls last night, their age group, it’s then that we need to start talking to them about modesty. About what it means to weigh the world’s standard against God’s and to then make a choice about whose standard we will follow.

They were interested, excited even. And they knew what I was talking about. The understood. I can’t tell you the stories I heard last night of fourth and fifth grade girls already dressing immodestly, of boys doing things that while quite boy-like, were also kind of scary for a mom to hear that her “little girl” was being exposed to. Girls whose friends were already getting “really boy-crazy.” These girls are 9, 10, and 11!

Yes, it’s now, with them, probably even younger, actually. My daughter, who is seven, went with me last night. I wasn’t discussing anything that I didn’t feel it was okay for her to hear, and since she knows some of these girls, had been invited and wanted so much to “hang out” with the “older” girls, I let her go.

We decided to go out to breakfast this morning. My daughter said to me, “Mom, I can’t stop looking at that woman’s bra straps.” This was one of the “5 B’s of modesty” that we had talked about last night. No bra straps showing. Of course, I told her not to stare or be rude, but I was also thankful to know that she had listened and absorbed what I had said, and when she then saw someone not adhering to the standard we had set out last night, she knew it was not for her. (Not that she’s wearing a bra yet, but you know what I mean.) Again, God is good.

He knew I needed that last night, in so many ways. I can not tell you how many times over the last few months I have thought that I should cancel my registration to She Speaks. I just kept thinking I didn’t need to go. I don’t even have my teaching speech yet. But God knows what it is, and when He decides to give it to me, I can know and trust that it is what He wants. It will be His talk, and whether it goes well, or I mess it up badly, He will still show up, and His purposes will be accomplished.

Ever in humble awe of our mighty Lord, I wish you…