So I watched Part 1 of the American Idol finale last night. I have been a David Cook fan all season. I admit he didn’t necessarily bring his “A” game last night, but I still think he is the better entertainer of the two.

To give David Archuletta his due, the kid has a beautiful voice, no question. But honestly, he bores me. I truly don’t mean to be rude here, but I feel nothing when he sings. And isn’t that the point?

I’m a singer. Music moves me. I love worshipping the Lord in song. If such a thing can be in your blood, then it is definitely running all through mine. And David A. does not “light my fire,” so to speak.

I don’t normally vote on AI, well, at least not since Clay was on there. Even then, I didn’t vote until the finale. I hadn’t really caught the AI craze at that point. I didn’t even start watching it until halfway through Season 2. People kept talking about this Clay Aiken kid from Raleigh, NC, especially the members of the praise and worship team with whom I sang, and since I had no clue what they were talking about each week, I decided to tune in just so I would be in the know.

But I digress. The point of that was to say that I did my part for David C. last night. I didn’t finish watching the show until about 10:25. I started trying to call while David A. was singing his last song. After about 10 minutes of not being able to get through on my home phone on ANY of the numbers, I switched to my cell phone. I got through on David C.’s third number, and boy did I get a rhythm going! Send, Send to dial the number. Brrrrinnng. “Thank you for voting for Contestant 1. Watch American Idol tomorrow night sponsored in part by AT&T.” That was word for word by the way. I heard it a LOT. End, end to disconnect the call, and then back to send, send again. I called for about 30 minutes, I think, and I think I probably dialed about 100 times. I probably got through about 85-90 of those, so if David C. doesn’t win tonight, it won’t be because I didn’t do my part. (And, yes, I realize it’s lopsided to be able to do that, but since the system is set up that way, I went for it.)

Most likely, even if he does lose, he will probably get a record deal. I can tell you that I won’t be buying a record made by David A. I don’t know what it is. He’s a nice kid, very likable. He does have a beautiful voice, but I’m just not interested. David C. on the other hand, I have downloaded a number of his songs from iTunes, and I will definitely buy his album…ahem…sorry, CD. Ok, so I’m showing my age. Eight track’s anyone?

Food addict. It’s true. And no, I am not trying to be funny. I really do have a food addiction. I didn’t always know that was what it was, but now I do.

I have experienced a lot in my life that left me feeling empty and unworthy. Some of this I have shared on my blog, and some of it I will share when God gives me the go-ahead to do so.

When one hears the word “addiction,” most think of alcohol, drugs, or perhaps even cigarettes as substances to which people become addicted. I doubt food typically enters their minds. It certainly would not have been something I would have thought of until I learned that I was addicted to it myself.

Some may laugh to think of food as an addiction, but I can assure you it is no laughing matter. I have struggled with food issues and my weight my entire life. I was a little on the chubby side as a child. I developed early. Most of my friends had no shape while I had curves.

In high school, I was quite thin, but at the time, I thought I was fat. I used to go on crash diets where I would not eat for 4-5 days at the time. I would drink only water. I would lose about 7-8 pounds, and then I would start eating again. This system of starving myself eventually backfired, and the last time I did it, when I tried to start eating again, I couldn’t keep the food down. My body eventually recovered, but it could have been a lot worse.

When I was 20, I went through something extremely traumatic. I did not recover from that event for 12 years. Within the first year after it happened, I had gained 40 pounds. Food was my source of solace. It was the only thing over which I had any control. Or at least I felt I had the illusion of control because clearly control was something I did not have.

Over the next 7 years or so, I gained another 15-20 pounds. All during this time, I struggled with trying to lose weight. I tried Slim Fast. I did Weight Watchers five or six different times. I cried out to God in my anguish and unhappiness to help me. Nothing ever seemed to work. Any progress I made was always short-lived, and I would eventually end up right where I had begun.

You see, I was dead on the inside. God never left me, but I had left Him. I went through the motions, but I was a wreck. I was miserable. I hated myself. I was filled with self-loathing. I felt fat and ugly. I wanted to be thinner, but instead I ate. And when I ate, I hated myself even more for giving in to the temptation that was, if you’ll pardon the expression, “feeding” the very thing that I despised so much. It was like a merry-go-round that I couldn’t get off of.

At the age of 32, I experienced God’s healing from the tragic event that occurred at age 20. Sometime after that, I began to look at my weight situation and my eating again. I once again cried out to God. It was at that time that God revealed to me that the reason I had never been able to experience much success in this area was because I had an addiction. He told me to confess my addiction and repent of it. I did just that and asked God to help me overcome it. For the first time ever, I felt hope that perhaps things could change.

And, praise His Holy Name, they have. I won’t tell you that I don’t still struggle. I do. As a matter of fact, I am struggling right now. Perhaps I always will. I don’t know. I have an addiction. I know that God has the power to heal me instantaneously if He so chooses. Maybe He will. Maybe He won’t. Either way, I know that I must ask Him daily to help me overcome it. I cannot do it alone. If I try to do so, I fail.

Whatever your struggle today, ask Him to help you. He wants you to ask, and He wants to answer. He may not do so in the way that you would like or think that He should, but however He answers, it will be for your best and for His glory.

Sorry I have been mostly MIA this week. The fuel pump decided to quit on my car…in the carpool line no less! My daughter has been going through a rough time the last few weeks, and I had to take her to an urgent care center last night because I was afraid she had strep throat. She is supposed to be leaving on an overnight Brownie camping trip tomorrow, so I rushed her over last night so we would know what we were dealing with. It’s been that kind of week. And yet, in the midst of it, God was there.

When the fuel pump went out on my car, I wasn’t driving it…my husband was. He was in the best possible spot (for being in carpool anyway) that he could have been in when the car stalled. He tried to restart it to no avail, and when he got out of the car, several men jumped out of their cars and offered to help. They pushed him into a parking space so the car wasn’t blocking the carpool line. He walked my daughter into the school and then called me. We live right beside the school. He could easily have walked back home, but since it was raining, I came and picked him up. We had the car towed to the repair shop we use. They had time to look at it yesterday. The place where they order parts from had the parts in stock and was able to get them over to the shop yesterday. We went and picked the car up last night. The bill was $758, but even in that, I am thankful because we had received a tax refund and are able to pay for the repairs out of that money.

So, while I wasn’t particularly thrilled that the car needed repairs and that we had to pay $124 to have it towed or $758 to have it repaired, I am still praising God. It could have been a lot worse. I might not have a car at all. Many people do not. I might have an expensive car payment. I don’t, but many do. I was able to get my car repaired, and I didn’t even have to go into debt to do so. God had already provided the funds in advance. I wasn’t driving the car. I can tell you, breaking down in the carpool lane would have majorly stressed me out! I could have been sitting in the middle of an intersection with no way to move my car out of the way. I wasn’t. We could have been far away from home when it happened. We live right beside the school. God provided, and I am thankful.

As if that wasn’t enough…my daughter was complaining of her throat hurting when we picked her up from school yesterday. She didn’t say anything else about it, though, and we went on to gymnastics a bit later. She started complaining about it again when we were on the way to pick up my car from the repair shop. Her complaints were becoming more insistent, and she started to cry. We had stopped to get a bite to eat, and she laid on me the entire time. I was quite concerned and fearful that she may have strep throat.

As I was driving back home, I knew that I had to get her to an urgent care center last night. For two reasons. One, if she had strep throat, and it had already been bothering her for most of the day yesterday, then most likely, she was going to be in pretty bad shape by this morning. Two, I know that when they start antibiotics for strep, they are still contagious for 24 hours. If I waited until this morning, there was no way she was going to meet the 24 hour contagion period before she was slated to leave on her trip tomorrow. I called one friend who is usually unreachable on Thursday evenings. She answered the phone. She told me about a new urgent care center not too far away from our town that might still be open. I called another friend. She, too, answered the phone and was even at home, which was what I needed because I needed for her to find the number of the urgent care for me so I could call them from the car. I did. Unfortunately, they were closing before I was going to be able to make it there. However, I knew there was also a new urgent care center in my town. I had no idea what their hours were. It was about 7:20pm. I didn’t know their name or number, but I knew where they were located. My daughter was riding with my husband, so I called him and told him to drive straight there, and I would meet him. As soon as we hung up, I started to pray. “Lord, please let them be open. Please, God. I need your help.” Just as clearly as if I had heard Him audibly, He spoke to me and said, “Everything is going to be fine, my child. They are open until 8:00.” I admit, I wondered whether or not that had truly been God, but I should have trusted.

We turned into the parking lot, and I immediately saw a blinking OPEN sign in the window of the urgent care center. Their lights were on. We drove up, and sure enough, as I looked at their posted hours, I saw that they were in fact open until 8:00! God is good. Not only that, there was no one else there waiting to be seen. We walked right in. They took us right back. AND, my daughter didn’t have strep throat! The PA thought it was probably just post-nasal drip from seasonal allergies. Praise You, Lord!

I have to run for now, but I will try to come back later and explain how this ties into what I have been learning in my Bible study about the Israelites in the wilderness and how God provided them with manna in the morning and quail in the evening. Until then, may you see God’s provision in your life today.