Dawn Ward

Guard Your Heart

I Can’t Believe I’m Doing This

Okay…deep breath! Breathe in…breathe out. Well, that didn’t really help much, but I’m going to do this anyway. I can’t believe I am about to provide visual proof that my housekeeping skills are nowhere near where they need to be.

I have mentioned before that I am certainly not June Cleaver….nor am I Martha Stewart for that matter, but maybe we will leave that for another day. A girl can only handle so much confession on any given day.

Truth be told, I probably would not have done this were it not for an Organization Swap and Hop going on over at Lysa TerKeursts’s blog today. So here we go.

My house is in CHAOS! What Flylady calls Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome. (And, yes, I know about Flylady.) That would be me! Take a look at this. First up are several pictures from our bonus room/study. And believe me, these don’t even tell the real story! You should have seen this room before my husband worked on it some last weekend!

Now for a look at the floor of my bedroom on my side of the bed. Please note the Proverbs 31 magazines. Yes, I do read them. The proof is right there! Just in case you’re unsure, that’s Marybeth Whalen’s family on the cover.

Last but not least, the dining room table. Fortunately, we have a table in our kitchen on which we eat our meals. Otherwise…well, we won’t even go there!

So, there you have it! My guilt and shame laid bare! Notice I stated earlier my husband had worked in our bonus room. I wasn’t home, actually. Probably out shopping so as to not have to face all of this. I’m kidding. I was getting a manicure! No, seriously, I was at church. I promise!

Anyway, the truth is, this makes me crazy! I don’t want to live this way. I’m tired of living this way. I don’t want to teach my daughter to live this way. I can’t seem to break the cycle. However, I think I gained some insight into this today over at The LPM Blog. I definitely recommend giving it a read. The post was written by Beth Moore’s son-in-law who recently joined Living Proof Ministries.

I have asked myself the question for what seems like my entire life, “Why can’t I seem to break these cycles I get into?” Not just in the organization, or lack thereof, of my home, but in my spiritual life as well. The answer is, I have been trying to do it in my own power. And I can’t. But God’s power in the person of His Holy Spirit can. And I am hopeful that calling on that power in me combined with some practical, real-life tips from Karen Ehman of Proverbs 31 will get me going on the path to peace!

signature

My Jaw is on the Floor

While I was posting earlier, American Idol was recording on TiVo. I mentioned in my post about AI last week that I always TiVo the show. Anyway, I just went downstairs to watch the results show, and I just had to come back up here and post….after I picked my jaw up off the floor and brought it upstairs to my computer that is.

Usually, I fast forward through the beginning…Ryan talking, the contestants doing their group song, etc., etc. Tonight, though, I wanted to hear the results of last night’s Idol Gives Back. Right after they showed clips from last night’s show, Ryan said, “Here are your Idol contestants (or some variation thereof) with Shout to the Lord!” I thought, “What? No, that can’t be right. Surely not.” And then I heard it. The familiar beginning I have heard so many times before. And there they were. The final eight contestants singing, “My Jesus, My Savior, Lord there is none like You…” There was a choir. It was beautiful. I was stunned. I couldn’t close my mouth. I wanted to cry. Millions of people watched this. Heard what I heard. Saw what I saw.

I don’t know what is happening, but God is moving, and I am in awe.

signature

Spiritual Armor

I was ambushed today. I am sorry I can not go into details but to rehash it here would be to gossip, and I don’t want to do that. As a side note, lest you think I’m all virtuous and such, gossip is something I have struggled with in the past, so I am definitely not being sanctimonious or pious here. I’m just trying to handle this the way God would like for me to. Having said that, I do want to make a point about something God showed me today.

I was unprepared. I walked in defenses down and was caught totally unawares. When I say my defenses were down, I am referring to two different things. One, I was not expecting what happened, but two, and more importantly, I did not have on my spiritual armor. I have not been doing a very good job lately of following the mandate in Ephesians 6.

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. Ephesians 6:10-18 (NIV)

I had not had a quiet time with the Lord this morning before I headed out the door. While I did spend time at one point with Him yesterday, I did not start my day with Him, and I “fit it in” while I had a few minutes. I’ve been struggling in this area of late. I’ve been getting attacked from many sides and in many different ways, and I haven’t been prepared.

God is not the problem here. He never is. I am. He tells us what to do, and when we do it, it works. When we don’t, it doesn’t. It’s quite simple, actually. So why do I continue to go through these cycles? Why am I so blasted hard-headed? The answer is, I don’t know. But one thing I do know.

His mercies are new each day, and I praise Him for that. Tomorrow is another day, and if He is willing, I can try again. And maybe after the next attack, while the armor may look beaten and worn, at least it will have been in place and with His help, will remain intact.

signature